I woke up at 2am this morning. And after some questioning about whether or not it would be a good idea to come sit in front of my GIANT rectangle in the middle of the night, I decided to say, “fuck it” to REM cycles and get some writing in while the baby was asleep.
After reading Big Magic and attending couples counseling today, I kind of wanted to write about those moments when you feel as if you’re splitting into several pieces, draining everything that has become unusable onto the carpet in front of a bearded stranger, seeing yourself empty and hopeful for the first time in years, and seeing your partner turn on as that bearded stranger un-severs the connection that used to have a purpose, and does again.
After reading Lord of the Rings as I drifted to sleep, I kind of wanted to write elf poetry.
Instead of doing either of those things, I decided to snuggle into my comfort zone, and write about edibles.
So this might get weird.
Has it already gotten weird?
Do you ever wish that I would just write SEO friendly copy that sounded like “Vegan cannabis gummies are excellent when using medical marijuana for pain relief or using cannabis to help with anxiety. Vegan cannabis gummy bears are one of the cannabis gummies you can make with this homemade cannabis gummy recipe. When making vegan cannabis gummies, make sure to always use cannabis and gummies and vegans.”?
Do you ever wonder if I know how to use punctuation inside and outside of quotation marks?
The answers to those questions are: Yes. Probably. Never.
I picked the most requested recipe that I’ve gotten this week and it was to vegan-ify those cannabis gummies we made last week. Done and done.
Making Homemade Vegan Cannabis Gummies
Before we start, I have a few notes. Admittedly, I’m no longer a strict vegan, so these might not matter to those of you who are vegans, but I feel like I should share anyhow.
A note on flavor: IMHO, this recipe requires a strongly flavored fruit juice. Organic Tart Cherry Juice concentrate works great for these because not only is it super tasty and a bit sour, it’s also anti-inflammatory, an aid to sports recovery, and it helps fight insomnia (odd but true). Make sure to add water to taste. Grape is also very delicious and reminds me of throwback lunch box fruit snacks. The first few times I made these, they tasted like agar because I was using waaaaay too much. It makes for a firmer bear/lego/robot, but it’s not worth it in terms of flavor.
A note on texture: These pass for gummies, and they’re as easy to make as gummies, but they reminded me more of a fruit snack. They’re not stretchy or jiggly like the grassfed gummies, but that’s to be expected. I remember letting all sorts of things pass as “cheese” when I was a vegan without blinking an eye, so if you’re here because you follow a strict vegan diet- cashews are cheese, flax is eggs and these are gummies. Taa daaa!
And… If you accidentally let them dry out on the countertop, they shrink down and have the texture of Lucky Charms marshmallows. Also odd but true.
Fun fact… Agar is the main ingredient of a fad diet in Asia. Apparently, when you eat flakes or powder, they triple in size and absorb a bunch of water which makes people feel fuller. You can also see the next note about why agar probably causes weight loss.
And this last note is super important so I’m going to make it bold: I didn’t read this until just now, but it turns out that Agar shouldn’t be used by people with digestive issues. It’s considered a mild laxative (not too big a deal when you’re just eating a few gummies or you’re on an Asian fad diet), and it can irritate the stomach. I wouldn’t eat these every day, or pound a whole jar of them, but I didn’t have any notable issues while testing them and I’m pretty sensitive. Avoid these if you have IBS or serious digestive problems and try the paleo gummies instead.
Vegan Weed Gummy Recipe
*Just like the last gummy recipe, these are micro-dosed, so add more cannabis tincture if you’d like to make stronger gummies (or you can head to that recipe and learn all about the almighty micro-dose). These can also be made with honey tincture (not vegan), but I don’t think they’d work with cannabis coconut oil.
In a saucepan, combine the following ingredients over medium-low heat:
2-3 tsp Cannabis Tincture (Green Dragon, Vodka/Brandy or Vegetable Glycerine all work)
Slowly whisk in:
1 Tablespoon Agar Powder
Keep whisking until smooth and all ingredients are incorporated. Turn off heat. Using a dropper, fill your silicon mold with your gummy mixture (you could also a pan lined with parchment paper if you’re in a pinch).
Allow to cool for about 5 minutes in the freezer or 20 in the fridge.